The approaching holidays are notorious for being filled with indulgent food – from cookies to casseroles to krumkake. If you’re on a mission to clean up your diet, it’s already a challenging time.
You’ve committed to avoiding sweets, carbs, or maybe even all plants.
You may already be self-conscious about how you’ve limited what food you put on your plate. “Does anyone notice that I didn’t grab any candied yams?”
Then . . . along comes your loving relative: “Why aren’t you eating the pumpkin pie I brought?”
It may be difficult to turn down food, for fear of disappointing someone. For many people, cooking food for others is their “love language” and they don’t take “no” for an answer very easily.
In addition to general statements — “You really need to eat more” “You’re too skinny — you need to put some meat on those bones” — your eating habits may also attract more pointed criticism, such as “Why such small portions?” or “You need some veggies on your plate.”
For those moments, here are some tips for handling food shaming.
- Set personal boundaries. You don’t need to engage in discussion about your dietary preferences. Example: “Let’s not talk about that right now.”
- Stay calm. Avoid defensive responses.
- Hear them out. Show respect for their viewpoint and validate their concerns.
- Change the subject. Example: “Oh, hey! Did you hear about what I did this Summer?”
- Avoid discussion. Example: “Thank you for your concern.” Then, carry on. You can also spin it in a different way – tell them you already ate earlier in the day and thus are being selective, or your tastes have changed, or that certain food just isn’t appealing in the moment.
- Bring your own dish.
- Own it – If you feel inclined, give a brief explanation for how you’re eating. You could also tell them you’re challenging yourself to eat clean for a certain period of time, or that you have a specific goal you’re working towards.
- Go in educated. There are many outdated and flat-out wrong beliefs about nutrition that remain strong in the general population. Know the science behind your approach and anticipate potential counter-arguments.
- Share evidence, reasoning, or personal experiences to support the way you’re eating.
- Find common ground. Even the most seemingly polarized dieting strategies, such as vegan and carnivore, share some basic tenets, such as the elimination of ultra-processed foods. Acknowledge the similar principles of different dietary philosophies.
If you face criticism about your way of eating, you have many options about how you respond. Keep in mind that nobody cares as much about your health as you do, so don’t alter your eating habits to appease anyone else. Stick to your guns and focus on your own health.
